2017: What a crap year…breathe a sigh of relief because it’s nearly over.
Enter: A self-proclaimed prophet who wants to shatter your dreams, hopes and aspirations for next year with his special potion of unproven alarm and fear-mongering mysticism.
Craig Hamilton-Parker, who claims to have predicted the Las Vegas mass shooting and the election of President Donald Trump, as well a global rioting (well, d’uh), has some pretty unsettling prophecies for 2018.
Hamilton-Parker, who shares all his best work on YouTube and psychics.com, from his home in Southampton, foresees a US attack on North Korea, a chemical attack on a European city and an attempt to impeach Trump.
He doesn’t reveal his sources, but it seems he’s really keeping up with current affairs in his mission to pull predictions out of his backside.
For 2018, he’s bookmarked in his calendar the following world crises: US forces striking North Korea by blowing up a key trade route, Kim Jong-un being overthrown by his own people, a failed attempt to impeach Donald Trump and the sinking of a US warship.
In terrible news for British fields of wheat, Theresa May will stay in power.
The rest of the UK can look forward to mass strikes organised by Jeremy Corbyn and Prince Harry’s engagement – presumably to Meghan Markle, although the lucky lady isn’t specified by the psychic.
Hamilton-Parker, who is a Brit himself, believes we’ll bear witness to a terror attack on a UK motorway and has predicted terrorists will launch a chemical attack – rather vaguely – on either London or Berlin.
He also claims a world flu epidemic – linked to biological terrorism – will wreak havoc globally.
Mother Nature is going to have a tough time too if these predictions are anything to go by, suffering a volcano eruption near Naples.
The soothsayer also sees a massive break in the Antarctic ice shelf for the upcoming year.
He’s also has taken a leaf out of the economics text books to predict the predictable collapse of the Euro, claiming it’ll subsequently trigger riots across the EU, after what he dubs ‘an overall bad year for the world economies’.
2018 will be a year of political turmoil and environmental crisis caused by dramatic and unprecedented weather.
Many of the above predictions are pretty gloomy but I feel that there will be a simultaneous growth in spirituality for the people of the world that will now start to lead us into a Golden Age.
Conflict and hardship, plus growing environmental problems will bring good people together and ignite a desire to seek the true purpose of human life.
He shared his full break-down of the breakdown of society in a succinct one-hour video:
Last year the Southampton born so-called soothsayer predicted a toxic attack on a school, Hilary Clinton’s resignation from politics – which didn’t actually happen – a worldwide epidemic and rioting across the US and Europe.
Hamilton-Parker also claims to have predicted the Las Vegas mass shooting – even though he thought the death toll would be caused by fire rather than a man with an arsenal of assault rifles.
His predictions cleverly play on what has been a tumultuous year and the subsequent fears and worries of the general populace – best to ignore them and get on with facing reality, as grim as it may feel right now.
The good news is, there’s absolutely no proof this guy has any more insight into what’s going to happen to the global political and social climate in 2018, than he does into what I’m going to have for my dinner.
Considering my fridge is empty, my stomach’s growling and I make erratic supermarket decisions when I’m hungry, I’d like to see him try.
A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.