The epi-centre of mindbogglingly shit TV, Loose Women, is the reason I hate my days off. Fortunately, however, Robbie Williams seems to hate it even more than me.
But then again he certainly has his reasons, as his wife of six years, Ayda Field, revealed to both the panel and to all of the bored as fuck audience of Loose Women across the globe that she has been faking her orgasms, reports Mirror.
Speaking to the panel, Ayda said:
I’ve faked it, not just with Rob, but in general. I’ve got two kids, I’m tired, there’s tea on, I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! – that’s not a mantra, it’s on the telly – there’s things I’ve got to do.
I think I’m too much of a people pleaser to say, ‘Guys, it’s not gonna happen, I’m sorry’. I don’t want them to feel bad, I want them to be encouraged by their effort. In my mind I literally am thinking about the TV, the tea that’s on the counter… it’s not their fault.
You want them to feel good and manly and strong like bulls.
So as possibly the world’s worst example of a ‘people pleaser’, Ayda announced to the globe that she had faked many an orgasm.
Enter an evidently fucked off Robbie trying his hardest not to look like an evidently fucked off Robbie.
Storming the stage, with a big ol’ grin on his face, in the immediate aftermath of Ayda’s revelation Robbie explained that they could ‘try again tonight’.
Specifically he said:
You have been faking it? With me, Robbie Williams? 18 Brits. It’s alright darling, I love you.
Sounds vaguely psychopathic that Robbie, calm down.
Now smile as much as you want but we know you’re hurting and that you’re probably more than mildly pissed off.
Good luck with tonight though pal!
Joseph Loftus is a Gold Standard NCTJ journalist with four years experience working for international and regional press.
As well as working for UNILAD and LADbible, Joseph has worked as Liverpool Correspondent for Unsigned & Independent Magazine, as well as stints with the Liverpool Echo and Warrington Guardian.