I regret to inform you that as of today, Monday, June 1, new coronavirus legislation has made it illegal to have sex in your own home with a person from another household.
Even though certain rules have started to be relaxed, it seems you should refrain from chatting someone up at an outdoor market, golf course or car showroom and bringing them home with you.
Health Protection Regulations have previously prohibited people leaving home without ‘reasonable excuse’. However, such measures have now been replaced with rules about where we can sleep and gather together, and this very much affects couples and sort-of couples who live apart.
According to the latest amendment to The Health Protection (Coronavirus, Restrictions) Regulations 2020 bill – which will today be laid down in law – couples living separately are not allowed to have sex indoors or to stay overnight at each other’s homes.
The new law states:
There is a gathering when two or more people are present together in the same place in order to engage in any form of social interaction with each other, or to undertake any other activity with each other.
With this legislation now in place, ‘no person may participate in a gathering which takes place in a public or private place outdoors, and consists of more than six persons, or indoors, and consists of two or more persons’.
It is also now illegal to stay somewhere outside of your home overnight ‘without reasonable excuse’. Such excuses may include moving house, attending funerals, work reasons, care provision or emergency assistance. Staying over at your boyfriend or girlfriend’s house is unfortunately not regarded to be a reasonable excuse.
Police officers in England have the power to arrest or fine those who break laws intended to protect people during the pandemic, with a default penalty set at £100. However, officers do not have the power to check inside private properties for such violations.
Many have taken to social media to joke that sex could still be on the table if things are kept alfresco, with award-winning author and anonymous Twitter legend The Secret Barrister writing:
Indoors, I should add. The government is happy for you to have sex with up to 5 other people in your garden.
Addressing questions about whether or not we could have been bonking our way across private properties prior to today, The Secret Barrister added:
To those asking ‘was this not illegal before?’, the answer is complicated. Reg 7 (prohibition on gatherings) didn’t apply to gatherings inside a private address. Reg 6 prohibited leaving your house, but *without reasonable excuse*.
Excitingly, this meant that there was scope for somebody to make a legal argument that leaving the house to have sex with a partner was a reasonable excuse. (Optimistic, perhaps, but if the govt approved the ‘eye test defence’, who knows?).
For all those pondering whether a back garden romp might be the way to go, this could sadly put you at risk of breaking public decency laws. And, unless you are supernaturally well-endowed, it’s unlikely you will be able to maintain a two metre distance at all times…
It’s okay to not panic about everything going on in the world right now. LADbible and UNILAD’s aim with our campaign, Cutting Through, is to provide our community with facts and stories from the people who are either qualified to comment or have experienced first-hand the situation we’re facing. For more information from the World Health Organization, click here.
The Secret Barrister/Twitter
PUBLIC HEALTH, ENGLAND
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