It’s fair to say 2015 has been a strange year for food. With scientific discoveries taking centre stage of the big foodie stories of the year…
Whether it’s cancerous bacon, music making food taste better and cheese being addictive as crack. But new trends have also emerged which have made this year more bizarre then ever.
We’ve compiled some highlights from 2015 and most of them are pretty messed up…
Bacon Gives You Cancer, But It’s Better Than Lettuce For The Environment
In more depressing food news this year, the World Health Organisation announced that bacon and other processed meats were a big a cancer threat as smoking. FFS.
Bacon isn’t the only meat on the chopping block, with sausages and burgers all in included. Processed meats were placed in the top five most likely things to give humans cancers.
But, in more positive (I guess) news about our beloved bacon, a new study revealed that eating a diet rich in fruit and vegetables rather than meat could actually be doing more damage to the environment.
According to researchers from the Carnegie Mellon University (CMU) lettuce is more than three times worse in terms of greenhouse gas emissions than bacon, after they analysed the impact per calorie of different foods in terms of energy cost, water use and emissions.
It’s swings and roundabouts really, but it won’t stop me tucking into my bacon sarnie.
McDonalds, KFC And Burger King Have Lost Their Shit
Under increasing pressure from restaurants offering healthier and more gourmet versions, the big fast-food chains are trying to up their game. But they’re doing it in some bat shit crazy ways.
It was the battle of the buns, with all three opting for some pretty bizarre coloured buns. After Burger King released a burger with a black bun for Halloween – which turn your shit green (apparently) – others followed suit. McDonald’s went for a miserable grey looking option, whilst KFC went a bit more out there opting for a pink version.
Calm the fuck down guys.
Even Looking At Food Porn Is Bad For You
Some more terrible news. If you’re a fan of scrolling Instagram at food porn, apparently even looking at unhealthy food can be bad for us.
According to the new study in scientific journal Brain and Cognition looking at #FoodPorn can have a negative effect on how we eat.
Researchers found that watching food programmes and looking at images of foods increases our desire for food, ‘hence increasing their consumption of whatever food happens to be within reach’, they wrote.
Basically, delicious images of food are activating a ‘powerful cue’ to the brain that influences us to eat more.
Fuck this, I’m going to stuff my face anyway.
Justin Bieber Is Probably Ruining Your Dinner Says Science
Researchers have confirmed something we already knew for quite some time… listening to Justin Bieber’s music can out you off your food.
According to the new study, the type of music you listen to when you eat can have an effect on how it tastes. The study – conducted for Just Eat by Oxford University psychologist Professor Charles Spence in the field of ‘gastrophysics’ – revealed that certain music can enhance your taste buds.
The research showed that Taylor Swift’s ‘Shake It Off’ elevated peoples’ enjoyment of their Chinese food, indie rock music can turn up the heat on a curry, a smooth sprinkling of jazz will make your Thai green curry sing and you’re best off sticking on some Pavarotti if you’re sitting down to an Italian.
When the 700 test subjects were played Biebs’ 2010 hit ‘Baby’, they reported that it ruined all the food.
Thanks for confirming our suspicions science.
People Are Actually Eating In Toilet-Themed Restaurants
A bizarre new restaurant craze has swept around the entire world, with toilet-themed restaurants opening in the U.S., Asia and now Europe.
These weirdly themed restaurants really commit to their theme, you sit on toilets while eating and drinking meals that look like shit and piss out of smaller toilets. Nice.
Prices at the restaurant are pretty reasonable, for around five quid you can get soup, sausage and mash plus dessert, but you do have to eat from a toilet though. Hmmm.
Will it replace a cheeky Nando’s? Probably not. It’s probably not the best place for a first date, maybe number two?
The Best Burger In The World Is Vegan, Apparently
For you carnivores out there, this is a bit of a kick in the bollocks…
A burger in New York was named the best in the world by GQ magazine and only costs £4, but there’s a catch… it doesn’t contain any meat whatsoever. What. The. Fuck. Mind blown.
The Superiority Burger contains a full vegan patty, sandwiched in a bun with iceberg lettuce, tomato, dill pickle and sauce.
Instagrammers have been raving about its taste and texture, but all the ingredients in the chunky, nutty burger are unknown and the chef isn’t to keen to reveal his secret recipe… no surprises there really.
What has the world come to!? If you need me I’ll be crying onto my Big Mac…
Victoria’s Secrets Models Have The Most Ridiculous And Expensive Diets Ever
A lot of people out there sacrifice amazingly tasty (probably unhealthy) food to look good. But I think these Victoria Secret’s models take their diet a bit too far…
They fork out £71 a day on a meal delivery service by Sakara Life, that delivers all natural, vegan, plant-based food which will reportedly help you lose weight.
The company say that unlike a juice cleanse, which leaves you low on energy (and most likely shitting through the eye of a needle), that their meals have a load of nutrients and plant protein to help fuel the body and make the models feel great, apparently.
If you’re trying to lose weight, you’re probably better hitting the gym rather than splashing out on ridiculously priced and incredibly bland health foods.
You may as well just eat grass by the sounds of it…
Cheese Is As Addictive As Crack Cocaine
Cheese lovers everywhere rejoice. You don’t have to feel guilty anymore for demolishing half a block of cheese in a matter of minutes- it’s not actually your fault.
Research earlier this year showed that it can actually be as addictive as crack cocaine and a whole host of other drugs.
The study – which was done by the University of Michigan, and published in the U.S. National Library of Medicine – revealed that cheese was particularly addictive because of casein, a protein found in all milk products.
This then releases casomorphins, which mess with your dopamine reactors and trigger the addictive element in food.
Phew, it isn’t just me then…
Kellogg’s Corn Flakes Were Actually Invented To Stop Masturbation
In news which may make you look at your breakfast a bit differently, reports suggest that corn flakes were first invented to stop people masturbating. Wait, what?
John Harvey Kellogg wasn’t a massive fan of sex or pleasuring yourself, apparently and intended it to be a “healthy, ready-to-eat anti-masturbatory morning meal”. Because, why not?
Mr Kellogg – a physician – was uncomfortable about sex, believing it was unhealthy for the body, mind and soul. He was celibate too, never consummating his marriage and refusing to sleep in the same bedroom as his wife.
It’s probably fair to say that Mr. Kellogg was a bit of a weird dude. To avoid temptation, for girls, he recommended applying carbolic acid to the clitoris to burn it. And for boys, he suggested threading silver wire through the foreskin to prevent erections and cause irritation. Oh God…
So feel free to think of that the next time you’re tucking into a tasty bowl of cereal!
Human DNA And ‘Mystery Meats’ Were Found In ‘Cannibal Sausages’
Could there be any more horrendous food news? Yeah, of course there can be.
Earlier this year, scientists found terrifying contents in hot dog sausages, with one in 50 containing human DNA and many more packed with ‘mystery meat’.
Using genetic detection techniques, researcher could reveal the exact contents of 345 separate brands of American hotdogs – I wish they bloody hadn’t to be honest. The research showed 1 in 7 bangers contained ‘problematic ingredients’- fantastic.
They found human DNA in two per cent of the total samples and two thirds of vegetarian hot-dogs. But before you worry that you’re possibly a cannibal, it’s more than likely to have come from saliva or other bodily fluids. Still pretty grim though.
Fuck this, I’m going vegan.
So, there you have it. We look forward to another year of fucked up, freaky food stories.