Expert Reveals Simple Way To Tell How Middle Class You Are
Have you ever felt like you were straddling the line between social classes?
Fear not, Etiquette expert William Hanson has whittled your social standing down to the household items you own.
Commissioned by home insurance provider Esure, Hanson listed items such as Dyson vacuum cleaner and a Brompton Bike (what is that?) as signs of being middle class.
Here’s the full list:
1. Smart TV (owned by 42% of middle class households)
2. Dyson vacuum cleaner (owned by 38% of middle class households)
3. Barbeque (owned by 31% of middle class households)
4. Vinyl records (owned by 17% of middle class households)
5. iMac (owned by 12% of middle class households)
6. Nutribullet (owned by 11% of middle class households)
7. Antler or Samsonite luggage (owned by 10% of middle class households)
8. Wood burning stove (owned by 9% of middle class households)
9. Spiralizer (owned by 8% of middle class households)…how else will they make their courgetti?
10. Mulberry bag (owned by 5% of middle class households
11. Matching coasters (owned by 5% of middle class households)
12. Boiling water taps (owned by 4% of middle class households)
13. Hot tub (owned by 4% of middle class households)
14. Aga range cooker (owned by 4% of middle class households)…niche
15. Smeg fridge (owned by 4% of middle class households)
16. Brompton bike (owned by 3% of middle class households)…these are those weirdly proportioned fold-up bikes.
So how extreme is your middle-class-ness?
If you scored 0, you’re just not middle class at all. You go ahead and boil the kettle when you want tea and ride to work on a bike that doesn’t fold away.
If you scored 1-4, you dabble in the posh practices but still keep your rational head when it comes to purchases. Perhaps you own a few records because some music just sounds better on that vinyl, but you see no point in splashing so much money on a massive fridge that basically has the word ‘smegma’ on it.
If you scored 5-12, you’re very middle class. Darling, some thing just don’t taste right unless they’re done on a wood-burning stove. It’s important that you have all apple products so that you can sync the iMac to the iPad to the iPhone…in fact maybe we can sit down over a glass of 1984 Shiraz and you can tell me how convenient the iCloud is.
If you scored 13-16, you’re extremely middle class. 1984? That was a terrible year for wine. You much prefer the stuff you can only get delivered from those niche wine delivery websites. You have a different set of matching coasters in every room and can’t remember the last time you waited for a kettle to boil your water.