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Therapist Reveals Why Being Ghosted Is So Painful

by : Poppy Bilderbeck on :
Therapist Reveals Why Being Ghosted Is So Painful
Therapist Reveals Why Being Ghosted Is So Painful (@jordynwoodknow/TikTok)

An therapist has revealed her top tips for getting over being ghosted, after one particular man left 'hundreds' of women seething in his wake.

Ghosting. It's brutal, like a plaster being slowly ripped off, or perhaps even a wax strip, slowly ripping out tufts of hair and flakes of skin at a snail's pace, for maximum pain, as you sit there wondering whether to text them yet again, or if they will ever reach out to you. Tip: if they haven't already, they probably won't.

However, while you um, ah and stuff yourself with ice cream, crisps or alcohol, whining to your best friend about how you thought they were different, why not stick on this TikTok video instead so that you don't feel quite so alone in your pain?

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A TikToker called Jordyn Woodruff has launched an investigation into a dating app user known as Caleb, who prompted the trending hashtag #westelmcaleb, for 'ghosting every girl in New York City'.

Sharing images of the alleged ghost, Jordyn explained that the man in question has been found guilty of 'lovebombing' girls, 'sending them amazing Spotify playlists, before ghosting them immediately before the date, or after the date'.

And indeed Caleb appears to have left a siege of angry women in his wake, having gone viral and becoming the subject of hundreds of videos.

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Serial Ghost Dater Exposed on TikTok (@jordynwoodknow/TikTok)
Serial Ghost Dater Exposed on TikTok (@jordynwoodknow/TikTok)

However, in a bid to help ghostees, an expert has offered up advice and support as to why ghosting hurts so much and how to lick your wounds if you have become the subject of such f*ckperson tactics.

New York-based therapist Darcy Sterling noted how wondering what you could have done wrong is completely normal.

She told Business insider, 'When someone gets ghosted, they can feel like they were disposable or even just a placeholder. Since there is no conversation happening with the other person, they are stuck wondering and assuming why they would ghost you.'

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However, while such a situation can lead you 'down a rabbit hole of questioning [your] own worth', Sterling reminded that 'it's actually not the person's feelings someone is trying to safeguard by ghosting them. It's their own discomfort'.

If you are trying to get over a ghost, then Sterling pressed that, 'You do not need an apology to heal,' urging the wounded to instead try their best to focus on friends, family, and themselves.

So, while making a TikTok reel may feel good to let out the anger in the moment, why not run a bath, stick on a face mask, and prioritise a little bit of self-care in a bid to try to beat the need for a post-Christmas spoon with someone who was barely real?

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Poppy Bilderbeck

Poppy Bilderbeck is a Junior Journalist at UNILAD. She graduated from The University of Manchester in 2021 with a First in English Literature and Drama, where alongside her studies she was Editor-in-Chief of The Tab Manchester. She currently runs the mental health column for UNILAD, and is such a crisp fanatic that the office has now been forced to release them in batches.

Topics: News, TikTok