These Christmas Songs Need Banishing From The Face Of The Earth
Everyone loves a bit of All I Want For Christmas Is You, but for every Christmas smash hit that gets played over and over again, there are ten massive flops.
Some of the attempts at Christmas Number Ones over the years have been painful to hear, and no X Factor, we’re not just talking about you.
With that in mind, we’ve taken a look at the six worst Christmas songs – and you might want to cover your ears.
Bob the Builder – Can We Fix It
Sometimes there are no words. This is one of those times.
What on earth doesn’t even cover it, and the song rivals that of Miss Piggy and her attempt at a Christmas song with ‘I’m The Christmas Queen’.
There are some seriously bad songs out there, but there is a reason kids shows like Bob the Builder should stick to what they’re good at, and this song is case in point.
It might have been the biggest selling song in the UK that year, but Good Lord it was bad.
Anything X Factor
Thank fuck for Rage Against the Machine who at least spared us from the misery of Simon Cowell’s latest puppet getting a coveted Xmas Number One for one solitary year.
You can’t escape the X Factor, and despite the dwindling ratings for the show, they don’t look like going anywhere any time soon.
The music is fucking horrific and some of the winning songs from the likes of Steve Brookstein and Leon Jackson should never have seen the light of day.
Cliff Richards – Mistletoe and Wine
You could probably find a fair few people who would rather hear nails scraping down a chalk board than listen to this song one more time.
Cliff is cringe, the song isn’t actually that good, and it seems to get wheeled out more times than Gemma Collins has hot dinners.
Cliff the crooner has seen better days, and frankly, he’s always been better suited to singing for old ladies than anything else.
Justin Bieber and Mariah Carey – All I Want For Christmas Is You
How do you make one of the worst Christmas songs of all time?
It’s quite simple really. You just take an absolute cracker and remake it with the original artist who’s lost the plot slightly since then, and add one of the most annoying young artists around into the mix.
Say hello to Justin Bieber and Mariah’s absolutely murderous attempt at remaking a classic. It’s awful. It should never have happened.
Bieber might be gaining some credibility with his latest stuff, but this? This is poisonous to ears everywhere – and the video is even worse.
David Hasselhoff – The Christmas Song
Not sure what on earth this is to be honest.
The Hoff has seen better days, and trying to reignite his career with a Christmas song fell flat on its face.
You’re not Michael Buble mate. Leave the Christmas songs to someone who knows what they’re doing. Please. For the sake of us all.
John Denver – Please Daddy Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas
The song title says it all really.
It sounds as creepy as fuck, and frankly, it is.
A notable lyric from the song goes like this: “Just last year when I was only seven, now I’m almost eight as you can see. You came home a quarter past eleven, fell down underneath our Christmas tree.”
Yeah, not exactly up there with the festive cheer to be honest. A bit of a strange one and certainly one that’s earned its spot on the list.