Picture the scene: you’re almost home after a long day at work. Your boss was being a bit of a dick and you got soaked as you were walking back to the train station.
But now you’re finally at your gate and ready to get inside so you can scoff your face with chocolate and crisps and sandwiches, and stare aimlessly at your television set for the remainder of the night.
Unfortunately, things are about to get worse – that is if you’re this woman, Ms Yang, from Japan, who keeps coming home to her front door being smeared in bucket-loads of piss and shit resembling a Jackson Pollock dirty protest, reports the Mirror.
The piss and shit monster sounds like the worst movie villain ever, but in fact it’s the creation of some absolutely terrifying entity who dresses up as a ghost as he/she attacks the woman’s front door.
The ghostly attacker dresses entirely in white while wearing a white mask, a long black wig, and plastic bags wrapped around their feet.
They even come with ready-made shit bags to ensure they don’t get any faeces on their own hands. ‘Simply turn them inside out and smear away’ – I imagine the advert goes.
Apparently, the sewer ghoul is targeting the woman’s door because it claims she is ‘a homewrecking mistress,’ something she is adamantly against.
When the vandal attacked the woman’s home on July 25, for the thirteenth time in the past seven months, Ms Yang got ‘fed up’ and called the police.
The police are currently investigating the matter and searching for the shit monster.
Joseph Loftus is a Gold Standard NCTJ journalist with four years experience working for international and regional press.
As well as working for UNILAD and LADbible, Joseph has worked as Liverpool Correspondent for Unsigned & Independent Magazine, as well as stints with the Liverpool Echo and Warrington Guardian.