It doesn’t take much to get good ol’ Holly and Phil writhing in hysterics on the This Morning couch, although these two anecdotes from callers are pretty damn special.
Let’s start with the first.
While discussing how people got revenge on their cheating significant others, one caller, called Abi, rang up to talk about her partners peculiar kink.
Now, there’s being a couple who like to share, and there’s being a couple who like to ‘share’ – and Abi’s boyfriend liked the latter.
His eyebrow raising fetish involved demanding that whenever Abi had a bath, she would leave the water in the tub for him to jump in afterwards where he would proceed to brush his teeth using the murky second hand water.
But what happened when Abi discovered he’d been cheating on her with a colleague? Devastated, she devised a cunning plan and emptied her piss filled bladder into the bath.
As he did most days her boyfriend hopped right into the pissy lagoon and went ahead and brushed his teeth.
Every time I had a bath, he asked if I’d leave the bathwater in and he’d get in my bathwater – and he always brushed his teeth in the bath!
So he was brushing his teeth in my second-hand wee-infested bathwater.
But if you think that’s as bad as it gets, then read on and prepare yourself for a genuine nightmare.
On the same segment of the show, a softly spoken gent called Stephen spoke of how he found out his boyfriend at the time was cheating on him – and he really went the extra mile to get him back.
While Stephens then boyfriend was preparing for a fancy night out on the town with a certain guy, Stephen emptied out his preferred bottles of shampoo and conditioner and replaced them with none other than a top notch brand of hair removal cream.
And as if things could not get worse for the naughty cheat, he ended soaking in the bath for a good 25 minutes as the hair removal cream decimated his ‘beautiful hair’.
According to Stephen, ‘it really works’.
You can watch the clip below:
I think the moral of these stories is pretty damn simple – don’t be a cheat.
Joseph Loftus is a Gold Standard NCTJ journalist with four years experience working for international and regional press.
As well as working for UNILAD and LADbible, Joseph has worked as Liverpool Correspondent for Unsigned & Independent Magazine, as well as stints with the Liverpool Echo and Warrington Guardian.