Trump Threatens North Korea With Cryptic Message


In the latest instalment of the televised political saga, My Nuclear Warhead is Bigger than Yours, Donald Trump has left the news media on a cliff-hanger with a cryptic message. 

As the pissing contest between President Donald Trump and North Korean despot, Kim Jong-un continues, and tensions continue to rise, Trump appears to inch closer everyday to declaring war.

On Saturday, POTUS tweeted the warning ‘only one thing will work’ when it comes to dealing with Kim Jong-un’s dictatorial regime:

President Trump tweeted:

Presidents and their administrations have been talking to North Korea for 25 years, agreements made and massive amounts of money paid… hasn’t worked, agreements violated before the ink was dry, making fools of US negotiators.

Sorry, but only one thing will work!

Amid the Twitter flurry, Trump gave an interview on Thursday with fellow Republican, Mike Huckabee, echoing those sentiments, arguing former Presidents Clinton and Obama left him ‘a mess’ in North Korea and foreign policy in other arenas.


The interview occurred hours before Trump attended a polite photo-op with military personnel and said the gathering could represent ‘the calm before the storm.’

The president declined later to tell reporters what he meant by this observation and moments later, when asked what would constrain North Korea, Trump said, ‘Well, you’ll figure that out pretty soon.’


At a White House press briefing Trump spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders reiterated:

You’ll have to wait and see. I wouldn’t say necessarily that [Trump is] trying to throw people off, but he’s not trying to broadcast or telegraph his exact actions.

I think we’ve seen what a failure it is when an administration does that.

[Trump] certainly doesn’t want to lay out his game plan for our enemies. We’ve got a lot of bad actors in the world: North Korea, Iran, there’s several examples there. I haven’t been specific about anything.


The verbal sparring between President Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un has reached close to breaking point, as the North Korean despot continues to deliver damning blows to the American President in the perpetual propaganda parade.

After Donald Trump called Kim ‘Rocket Man’ – a surprisingly cool and desirable nickname for the trigger-happy guy whose finger is poised over the red button that spells nuclear war – Kim responded with equal gusto.

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The North Korean leader called Mr Trump a ‘mentally deranged US dotard‘ and vowed the ‘highest level of hard-line countermeasure in history’ in response to Trump’s demand the United Nations ‘totally destroy’ North Korea in self-defence.

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In his United Nations speech, Mr Trump called North Korea’s autocracy a ‘band of criminals’ and Mr Kim a ‘Rocket Man’ on ‘a suicide mission’.

Meanwhile, North Korea tested two intercontinental ballistic missiles in July, one of which demonstrated potential to reach mainland US.


Kim has also fired two ballistic missiles over Japan in recent weeks, causing South Korea to weigh in with their own fighting talk.

While the situation does feel somewhat perilous, you can always focus on the unbelievable hilarity of this phallic war of words and nuclear warheads as we await impending doom.

What a bunch of dotards.