Girl Tells Guys How To Take The Perfect D*ck Pics

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To some they’re the modern age equivalent of trench coat flashing, to others they’re an art-form. But just how do you take the perfect dick pic?

Well, one girl in the world thinks she has the answer and she’s laid it out just nicely in a long list on Imgur.

Meet IReviewDickPics. A self-proclaimed British I.T worker who spends her spare time ‘reviewing and critiquing photographs of penises as a hobby’.

To IReviewDickPics, it would appear that the perfect penis picture is indeed quite the work of art.¬†After all, weren’t Lucien Freud’s self-portraits essentially just exuberant dick pics of the time?

lucian-freud_painter-working-reflectionWikimedia

But then again, not all of us humble folk have the means to spend months working on a thought-provoking picture of our beloved blue veined sausages.

Although this post originally came to light in 2015, the creator has shared it once more and as we’d only expect from such a classic list of naughtiness – it’s gone viral all over again.

So here’s a few handy tips and ideas from the dick expert of Imgur

This one can work well. Just need to back the camera away a little more so we’re not so ‘up close and personal’. This is also a great opportunity to get the lower half of your face in the pic. Although the standard rule is to chop off at the neck, a sexy smile can do wonders ;)

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Another good choice, but go landscape and get some of your torso and thighs in shot. A finger on its own is a bit boring, context makes a pic a whole lot more interesting.

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Another reasonable choice, always good to have some distance between the camera and the subject.

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This is the number one bog standard pose that 90% of guys go for. It’s dull dull dull. If you’re going to do this, you’ve either got to have something spectacular to show, or make it more interesting somehow.

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It’s really hard to make this a flattering picture. Maybe in a group of pics you can get away with it, but certainly don’t lead with this. This is way closer than I really want to be on first contact.

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Bathroom mirrors are handy. You get to take a pic from the front without having to mess around with timers. You get the whole body in and can show what you’ve got. It’d be nice if you could give the mirror a wipe over though. Toothpaste splatter isn’t a great look.

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Of course, UNILAD do not condone the sending of unsolicited dick pics…