Everyone likes to think they’re good at getting it on, but deep down, inside every one of us, is the sneaking suspicion we’re actually rubbish.
You can deny it all you want, but sometimes you wish you could get 100 per cent confirmation about your prowess in the bedroom.
It would also be pretty useful to have a frank conversation with someone who’s had a lot of sex and to get some tips just in case you need to up your game.
If you asked most people who comes to mind if they had to ask such questions, a lot of them would say Mia Khalifa, because, well, she’s Mia Khalifa.
Well men and women everywhere rejoice because Mia is willing to share her expertise without you even having to ask.
In an interview with Men’s Health last year, Mia answered Google’s seven most frequently asked questions on sex.
The first question was: ‘Where is the G-spot?’, the question on the minds of teenage boys everywhere.
We’ll let Mia answer:
Your G-spot is on the top wall of the vagina halfway between the opening and the cervix – so if you’re fingering someone, it’s up and under, I would say.
You know you’re touching it when it feels like you’re touching a slightly rougher surface, like the surface of a nut.
Yet Mia cautioned against going too hard just for the spot, as she herself doesn’t climax just from that kind of stimulation, but then again, every girl is different.
The second question was: ‘How to make a woman orgasm’, at least people are being thoughtful in their questions to Google, right?
It’s about a bunch of different factors, like kissing and taking your time and being tender, or being rough, depending on what the girl wants.
There’s no required time to spend on foreplay – you just have to feel the vibe…
If she’s moaning, she’s enjoying it. If her body starts shaking, or if she looks like she’s having an exorcism performed on her, she’s getting close. That’s usually a good sign.
Definitely not taking notes here, nope, no way.
The third question was: ‘How to get a bigger penis manually (does size matter?).
I don’t think size matters at all. The best sex I ever had was definitely not with the most well-endowed man I’ve ever been with.
It’s really all about the way you treat a girl and the way she feels about you.
If you’re small, you can put a pillow under the small of her back – helps with angles and if she goes down on you a lot, she’ll be able to deep-throat you easier and you’ll feel like a rock star.
Well I guess feeling like a rock star isn’t all bad, so there’s that.
Question four was: ‘How long does sex last?’ and I’m beginning to feel like there’s a deep failing in the sex education of our nation’s fine schools to be honest.
I think a quickie is usually about five to seven minutes and something more passionate is usually about 10-15 minutes.
I get chafed and tired and Sportscenter is usually about to be on.
The most legitimate reason to stop sex is 100 per cent what’s on TV, I definitely concur with this sentiment.
Question number five and here we get very blue: ‘Does anal sex hurt?’.
Yes. Yes, it does. It hurts a lot. The only time girls do anal sex is when they really, really, really, really like a guy…
I will say a lot of lube really helped and it was enjoyable after the first two minutes, but even then, it was a different kind of enjoyable than I could ever describe.
Moving swiftly on without comment, question number six is: ‘How can I last longer in bed?’
Pull out and go back to foreplay if you feel yourself getting too close. She’s not gonna get mad if you pull out and start going down on her. She won’t even know that you’re trying to not come.
She’ll think you’re doing it because it’s hot, and it’ll turn her on more.
Now, we move on to real agony aunt territory here, which is probably best reserved for a relationship counsellor rather than an adult film star.
The question is: ‘Why won’t my girlfriend have sex with me?’
Maybe you’re not listening enough to what she wants and you need to go slower, or be more gentle? Maybe the connection’s just not there?
Do something romantic with just you two. You don’t have to whisk her off to Bora Bora – just do something small and intimate with the two of you, to reignite that flame.
Above all else, if you two aren’t having sex anymore, you need to talk about it, or else it’s just not going to change. But tread very lightly.
If my significant other came up to me and said, ‘We never have sex’, I know I would get defensive.
Wow, it’s actually pretty solid advice, maybe if this whole sports presenter thing doesn’t work out, Mia can forge a career in the agony aunt business?