Area 51 Worker Reveals Huge Alien Secret While Sh*t Faced Drunk

by : Francesca Donovan on : 28 Oct 2016 12:11

You’ve heard of Area 51. You know where it is. You’ve heard the rumours about what goes on there. But really, what do you actually know? 

Nothing. So, imagine you find yourself living next door to an ex-military man who used to work for Area 51. What do you do? get hims drunk and quiz him about ET, of course.


…And then put the results of the Spanish Inquisition on YouTube for all the believers and naysayers to fight and bicker over.


The YouTuber relayed the revealing conversation, saying:

Hey, you see Orion’s belt? You see how you see two stars that are straight, very parallel to each other and there’s a little star that’s slightly adjacent to off to left…

Well, the bad aliens live on that adjacent star.


He goes onto explain that his source said the ‘good aliens’ are similar in appearance to the creatures we see in films and comic books; with big heads and buggy eyes.

But apparently, ‘the bad aliens are brown-coloured, very tall and they smell.’


When the then non-believer asked the ex-miliatry man how on earth the aliens travel from star to star, he received the following answer:

The UFOs basically travel on energy made of… Nothing.

Thanks for clarifying that then, YouTube. I fear this video won’t spark new discoveries about the existence of life beyond human realms.


It’s either the ravings of a drunk madman who skipped out on a zapping by the Men In Black’s memory wiper, or the revelations believers everywhere have been waiting for.

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Francesca Donovan

A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you've never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.

Topics: Science, Crazy


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