How To Survive A Nuclear Bomb Without A Billionaire Bunker

by : Tom Percival on : 24 Jan 2017 17:48

Let’s be honest whichever side of the political landscape you fall on these are volatile times what with the apparent growing distrust between the West and Russia. 

So in these uncertain times it’s always good to have a plan, namely a plan to survive the impeding nuclear holocaust which will reduce the outside world to a barren wasteland populated by  super mutants and synths.


Best of all you don’t have to be a billionaire in a bunker or underground vault to survive either, all it takes is a thorough plan. 

Basically, as outlined by Ready.gov, you can break your plan into three separate stages, namely before the blast, during the blast and after the blast.

Before the Blast…


Before Donald Jong Putin, drops his hot nuclear mess all over your house there are a couple of steps you can take to protect yourself.

Firstly and perhaps most obviously it’s good to have some provisions stocked up, like water tinned goods and other basic survival goods, these should be able to last you two weeks.

On top of your basic supplies you should also build an emergency supply kit, which includes items like a battery-powered or hand-crank radio, extra flashlights and batteries. You may want to prepare a kit for your workplace and a portable kit to keep in your car in case you are told to evacuate


You should also do some digging to find out if any of the buildings in your community have been designated as fall out shelters. If there are non try and find a potential shelters near your home, workplace and school.

This doesn’t need to be a reinforced bunker just a basements or the windowless centre area of a high rise building. An underground tunnel would also work.

During the Blast…


If the shit’s really hit the fan and you find yourself at ground zero of a nuclear blast then don’t panic, that burning sensation is completely normal.

Joking aside there’s actually quite a lot you can do to stay safe. You’ll probably become aware of the attack through official channels such as the radio, be sure to monitor these channels for any updates on the attack.

Once an attack has been announced immediately seek shelter your aim should be to put as many walls and as much concrete between yourself and the radioactive material outside.


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Even if separated from loved ones try and remain indoors that is where you’re safest.

Don’t panic if you’re caught outside when the bombs fall either there are simple ways you can ensure your survival. Firstly do not stare at the explosion it can blind you and drop to the ground, the shockwave from a nuke can travel a long way.

Once the blast has past seek shelter indoors immediately, even if your miles from the blast, wind can carry nuclear fallout for miles.

If caught outside then once your in a shelter be sure to wash yourself as soon as possible with soap and water. This will remove radioactive material from the skin. If this is impractical use a cloth to try and remove any nuclear debris.

If showering do not use conditioner, this would bind the nuclear fallout to your hair rather than remove it. If possible you should also remove your clothes and throw them away in a plastic bag, to reduce potential contamination.

Expect to stay inside for at least 24 hours unless told otherwise by authorities and await evacuation.

After the Blast…

So if you’ve managed to survive the horrors of nuclear fallout then we’ve got good news for you, you’ve survived the worst of it but you can still keep yourself safe.

You should keep listening to the radio and television for news about what to do, where to go and places to avoid

Do your best stay away from damaged areas marked ‘radiation hazard’ or ‘HAZMAT’ because you can’t smell or taste radiation.

Sorry we didn’t mention how to survive the super mutants.

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Tom Percival

More of a concept than a journalist, Tom Percival was forged in the bowels of Salford University from which he emerged grasping a Masters in journalism. Since then his rise has been described by himself as ‘meteoric’ rising to the esteemed rank of Social Editor at UNILAD as well as working at the BBC, Manchester Evening News, and ITV. He credits his success to three core techniques, name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.

Topics: News


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