Super Rich Old People Are Injecting Teenager’s Blood To Gain ‘Immortality’

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Older generations regularly have a go at the younger generations, calling them drains on resources and society.

It’s an often uttered criticism that the youth of today don’t contribute anything. But recent scientific developments mean some older people are relying on younger people for a very special service.

It turns out the older generations are a literal drain, as a new medical treatment is offering older people the chance to inject the blood plasma of the youth for thousands of pounds.

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Over 100 people have been part of this trial in San Francisco, and it seems super-rich old people might just be preventing themselves from ageing.

An individual procedure costs $8,000, for which the patient will get injected with two-and-a-half litres of the magic stuff.

The procedure is part of an experimental attempt to ‘rejuvenate’ the elderly, but it just sounds like some creepy vampiric, Dorian Gray style shit.

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The procedure is run by Jesse Karmazin, a Stanford-trained scientist, who has revealed to The Sunday Times that the results are ‘encouraging’.

He said:

It could help improve things such as appearance or diabetes or heart function or memory. These are all the aspects of ageing that have a common cause.

I’m not really in the camp of saying this will provide immortality but I think it comes pretty close, essentially.

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Can we just take a step back and think about how ridiculous this all is? In an age where young people are pretty much unable to build any savings or gain any significant financial stability, there is apparently a market for the elderly super-rich to literally siphon the blood of the young to help to help them live longer.

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The ‘treatment’ is based on a series of studies of ‘parabiosis’ (the technical term for blood sucking) between older and younger mice. Most of these studies showed rejuvenation of the older mice’s organs, muscles and stem cells.

This, however, aside from the obvious ethical issues, does not necessarily mean that the experiment is valid.

Tony Wyss-Coray, a Stanford neuroscientist who is studying parabiosis in mice, said that there is no evidence that the treatment would be beneficial.

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He told the MIT Technology Review:

People want to believe that young blood restores youth, even though we don’t have evidence that it works in humans and we don’t understand the mechanism of how mice look younger.

Karmazin argues that his patients already look better saying ‘it’s like plastic surgery from the inside out’.

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Maybe us young folk will just get by drinking our own blood like this lady.

This all sounds absolutely ridiculous and dystopian and I want no part in it. Nope.