Study Reveals The Best Time To Call In ‘Sick’ To Work
Can you believe it, there are some people out there who pretend to be sick and then call in to work so that they can have a day off.
If you were to hypothetically do this (which I absolutely
condone condemn), science has discovered the exact time to make that deceitful call, the Metro reports.
According to the Attest study of 1,000 employees, the perfect time to call in sick is on a Tuesday morning at 6.38am.
Once you’ve made the decision you’re going to do it, and set the alarm for that ungodly hour, you’ve got to balance the illness, guilt, and tinge of self sabotage in your voice so that you can march in on Wednesday scot-free.
Apparently the best excuse to pull for your sickie is the nice and vague ‘stomach problems’ which basically screams…
In terms of time of year, November and December are pretty cliche so it’s best to steer away from bunking work for the next couple of months and instead choose January when everyone else is being ‘fresh’ and ‘new’.
Very importantly, don’t half arse it like one of those drivers that pulls out confidently and then wriggles back again.
If you’re going to do it, fucking do it with every ounce of your cunning being and don’t back down, even if they ask for a doctor’s note or question your Snapchat video of you in a chicken shop at 3am.
So what you had to wake up early, you get to spend the whole day getting some well-deserved rest.
Of course this is all very hypothetical and I can’t imagine how anyone could really do this.