This Is What Would Happen To A Real-Life Human Centipede

Bounty Films

The answer to one of the most anticipated questions in film has finally been answered!

Some of the worst shit (literally) that’s happened in horror films is arguably  in The Human Centipede – a crazy scientist kidnaps three tourists and stitches them together…arse to mouth.

We all know the film, basically the lucky one at the front of the monstrosity gets to eat and then shit in the mouth of the person sewn to his arse. The poor ‘middle-man’ then literally eats shit before doing the same to the last person sewn to his/her arse.

Admit it, we all wondered, would this be possible in real life? I mean, it’s good to know if we were ever in that situation, right?

Well thankfully, two doctors have separated the shit from reality.

Dr. Louise Owen points out that there’s a very real danger of choking:

If someone were to shit into your mouth, it is likely that you would vomit it back up. That vomit would have nowhere to go and it is probable that some of it would be aspirated.

In this case, you could immediately choke or die quite quickly of pneumonia. Also, I’m assuming they manage to breathe through their nose. When you cry that blocks your nose so you can’t breathe. If you had an anus sewn to your mouth, you would probably be crying.

For the tough guys out there who could eat the shit without spewing, and hold back the tears, it still possesses a few problems.

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Dr. Philip Coakley explained the other complications:

Some of those people may have had blood poisoning. Septicaemia can kill you very quickly.

He also pointed out a medical inaccuracy with the movie – IV laxatives – apparently, they don’t exist.

That, at least, is a relief…

Bounty Films

So there you go, The Human Centipede is technically medically possible, provided that you have a dedicated team of trained professionals on hand and you don’t vomit, cry or get an infection!