Picture the scene: Justin Bieber hits up Barburrito for a cheeky lunch. This is a parallel universe where he’s still famous but can go and hit up the Deansgate branch in Manchester and not get chased around or mollycoddled by staff.
He steps up. ‘Hi what can I do for you?’ a worker asks, while applying new gloves.
‘A classic burrito, dude’ Bieber says.
‘Right away. Lime white rice or Mexican?’
‘Which is tastier?’
‘I like Mexican.’
‘I trust you dude. Mexican it is.’
‘Grilled chicken, pulled pork, spicy shredded beef or chicken & chorizo?’
‘What would you get dude?’
‘It varies really. But I do love grille-‘
‘Grilled chicken me up buddy.’
‘Mild pinto or spicy black beans? I often go for-‘
‘Oh I already know where I stand on beans dude. Spicy black.’
‘Any onions or peppers?’
‘100 per cent’
‘Mild, medium or hot salsa?’
‘You may look at me and think ‘Oh Justin Bieber… that dude definitely can’t handle hot sauce’ but you’re wrong. Well, kinda. I’ll go medium.’
‘Any jalapeños or lettuce or cheese?’
‘Wouldn’t be a burrito without them.’
‘You can add guacamole for an extra 95p, although that probably isn’t an issue for you.’
‘Dude don’t just assume I can afford that sh*t. It’s rude.’
‘So do you wa-‘
‘Of course I want guacamole.’
‘Would you like a drink with that?’
‘Y’all serve Corona over here?’
‘That’s wild. Don’t get that at Taco Bell. One Corona please.’
‘No worries. That’ll be £8.75.’
OK, the last bit isn’t necessary. I love you Barburrito – just not your prices.
Anyhow, picture of all that. Bieber then leaves the restaurant and heads to an inner-city bit of green, unfoils the final product in his hands, says ‘Burrito time baby!’ and then takes a bite like this:
does….justin bieber not know how… burritos work ? pic.twitter.com/WWKP2ttARe
— Ryan Bassil (@ryanbassil) October 25, 2018
Is this some cool, Canadian way of tucking into food, namely Mexican? Or has fame eroded any sense of normality for Biebs that he genuinely doesn’t know to eat a burrito?
One online commenter wrote in response: ‘Cannot trust Justin Bieber if he is eating burritos like this.’
Another said: My next true crime story is about this photo of Justin Bieber eating a burrito sideways.’
A third added, arguing the man pictured isn’t actually Bieber:
This isn’t Justin Bieber. The person in this pic has a completely different (current) hair color to the Biebs, as well as shape and size of his hands. It’s a misidentification that went viral on reddit. It happens. (see) It’s not an old pic of JB either. Trust me on that.
Whoever it is needs addressing pronto.
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