Are These The Five Worst Types Of Manchester United Fan?

by : UNILAD on : 26 Jul 2015 10:58

United fans, just as stereotyped as Liverpool fans, but for even worse reasons.


Armchair supporters, replica fans, they’re everywhere with this bunch. Last season, five of the top ten shirt sellers involved Manchester United players. I wasn’t really surprised one bit.

It’s all well and good people claiming to be big United fans, but the fact of the matter is that half of them can’t even name the starting XI, let alone tell you the all time greats.

All clubs have some nightmare fans, but United can claim to have some of the most annoying of them all, and here are five of the worst types.


The Southerner

We all know a southern-based Manchester United fan, don’t we? But, they’re not glory supporters, no, they’re certainly not. I mean, they’ve ‘supported’ them their whole life FROM THE OPPOSITE END OF THE COUNTRY.

Why not support your local team, perhaps? There are even football clubs below the Premier League, ever heard of Leyton Orient? Meh, probably not.

United fans know they’re eventually going to win something big, no matter how bad they are at the time – just look at things under Moyes and how quickly they’ve turned that around. In a couple of seasons, Van Gaal will have a title winning side on his hands – and these lot won’t even come up north for the victory parade.


The one-game-a-season fan

These are the worst. They’ll watch them on MUTV, that’s basically like going to the game, isn’t it? No, no it’s not. And, then, make the trip for Dagenham and Redbridge at home in the FA Cup replay for the cheap tickets. Nice try.

The worst thing is, they actually then try and claim they’re as die hard as the people who go and watch them week in, week out.


These lot aren’t staying up until silly o’clock to watch United on their pre-season tour. In fact, they probably don’t even know what one of those is.


Biggest club in the world

They aren’t anywhere near being with the big boys. To even put the modern day Manchester United in the same league as Real Madrid or Barcelona for a start is preposterous.

United are the biggest club in England, that’s probably fair enough to say and isn’t going to change for a while, no matter how much money City and Chelsea chuck at things, but really, Real and Barca are just heads and shoulders above anyone else right now.

Imagine United’s defence last season against Messi, Neymar and Suarez. Probably a good thing they missed out on the Champions League when you think about it – and no, a pre-season win over Barca doesn’t mean anything. At all.

Cristiano Ronaldo would still be at United if they’re the biggest club in the world, yes?


Glazers hokey cokey

Glazers in, Glazers out, shake it all about? This is where I have a lot of respect for FC United of Manchester fans. They’re against the Glazers, and they’ve stuck by it.

But, the ones who are still spending their cash on watching United constantly can’t be that set against the Glazers.


When things are going well, they’re soon forgotten, but when they aren’t getting the rub of the green things soon turn on the Glazers. Football fans being hypocritical? Who’d have thought it.

The Manchester United teamThe Manchester United teamAP

20 times, 20 times

The most annoying, monotonous song I think I’ve ever heard. Yes, we know you’ve won it 20 times, we don’t need a 90 minute reminder.

United fans actually have the cheek to call Liverpool supporters for going on about having five European cups, but come on, this is just as bad, if not worse.

I’m hopeful they win it this year, for the sake that I won’t have to hear the horrific 20 times song. Thankfully, 21 wouldn’t quite fit in tune. Go on LVG, save us all!

Topics: Sport