Pickup artists have a bit of a reputation for being creeps, mostly because a lot of them are total creeps.
But if you do happen to be a pickup artist, then there’s a new device to add to your wardrobe – The Pick Up Girls SmartWatch.
Well, if you want one you’ll have to dig deep in your pockets. The campaign to crowdfund the watch is currently resting on $0 after nine days. With the total they’re aiming for at $10,000, it’s not looking good for romantically-challenged men looking for a hot new timepiece.
The campaign page claims that the watch uses ‘subliminal and hypnosis techniques to program your brain’.
It then goes on to say:
Remember the movie, The Matrix, where the hero downloads fighting skills into his brain?. Imagine if you could be instantly successful at meeting girls and charming them. Well the future is here now and you can be wearing it on your wrist.
Right, there you go. Download the creepy charm of a sleazy self-conscious man, all from the convenience of your arm.
It apparently works by building your confidence through subliminal audio recordings of pickup techniques, and includes three 15-minute hypnosis sessions.
It also comes with a handy list of life lessons:
The SmartWatch has several different faces, to help you charm the women, including an image of roses – because women will definitely sleep with you if you show them a picture of flowers. Duh, women love flowers!
And if for some bizarre reason that fails, drop this bomb:
We also have a watchface of a cute kitten so you can say: “Do you want to see my kitten?”
Another creepy technique for picking up women is to take their photo without their permission, then say: “Do you want me to send you your picture? Give me your cell number.” And there’s a lucky silver coin thrown in for free! On one side it says, “I AM LUCKY WITH THE LADIES”, and on the other “I AM CONFIDENT, I AM COOL”.
According to the campaign page:
It is a gift from the inventor after he had the vision of a man showing the coin to another man. The coin helps to train you more and gets you into sharing and inspiring other men.
If the Pick Up Girls SmartWatch sounds like the watch for you and you want some more information, here’s an introductory video:
I’d like to think this is just a big joke – but unfortunately, I’m not sure it is.