When I imagine the food of the future, I envision every mealtime to be a Heston Blumenthal-esque sensation, fizzing and popping in a cloud of rainbow coloured dry ice.
However, it seems my predictions of ice cream bubbles and floating candyfloss clouds which drift into your mouth are way off.
Indeed, the joys of rustling up a flavourful meal or sharing a romantic dinner at a candlelit restaurant may one day be a thing of the past.
Listen up guys. A time traveller has visited us from the year 2200 and he has some gastronomical news which won’t exactly leave your mouth watering.
Civilian time traveller of mystery W.D. Davis – who wishes to keep his true identity anonymous – claims he has brought back food from the future; in the form of a – completely free of charge – little white pill.
Despite looking no more impressive than your regular back-of-the-cupboard paracetamol, Davis has made the following bold claim to ApexTV:
It has everything you need for a week and our government supply is used monthly to everyone.
Although this is bad news for mid-afternoon snackers such as myself, this has apparently solved the issue of world hunger.
Check out Davis’s culinary revelations below:
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At an apparent 103-years-old, Davis is looking in tip top shape from this clinically sparse diet. Although, this is no great age in the 2200, where a good life expectancy is reported to be around the 200 years mark.
Davis told ApexTV how a lot of diseases are cured, with cancer being eradicated. :
[There are] no diseases, no doctor we go to. We just have our own pill we take and were all cured.
There are space cars which can soar into space, with actual usable space suits for your regular Joe space explorer. I can only imagine the theory test would have to include braking for space debris to pass by.
Davis also revealed how credit card theft is bing tackled by implanting chips into people’s wrists which they can then scan at ATM machines. Nifty stuff.
However, the future is far from a dreamy utopia, with earth facing issues such as overpopulation, war and global warming.
As as result of these problems, earthlings are also living on other planets in the future, including Mars. Humans are living in colonies, in greenhouse environments, with some even living in underwater cities, as Davis puts it: ‘like Aquaman.’
These cities particularly appeal to me as the houses reportedly have huge glass windows where residents can observe the sea life on their doorstep.
Sorry Spareroom, but an extra one hundred quid for a high street view? I would much rather watch a blue whale swim past as I sip my morning brew…
Personally speaking, one of the things I most long to know about the future is whether we will one day learn about other inhabitants of the universe.
Davis told Apex TV:
In America, there are things being discovered there. And aliens that can shape-shift and join the human race.
Davis even hinted at the rather disconcerting possibility of aliens living secretly among us right at this very moment, without our knowledge.
I don’t know about you, but I am peering around the office suspiciously right now for any visible antennae…
ApexTV are currently having the food pill tested to establish it’s contents.