Cards Against Humanity Job Will Pay You £30 An Hour To Write Dirty Jokes

Cards Against HumanityCards Against Humanity/amazon

Cards Against Humanity are looking for writers to come up with ‘poo jokes’ for the latest expansion of the game. 

As the official party game for horrible people, Cards Against Humanity is known for exploiting all things gross, unacceptable and offensive, and turning them into dark comedy gold.

The company are advertising for a new writer to join their team, but of course, in keeping with the theme of their game, they want a writer who’s good at making jokes that are often greeted with groans rather than laughs.

The Cards Against Humanity website reads:

Great news! Cards Against Humanity is looking for new writers. If your cards are solid, you’ll join our pool of remote contributors and make $40/hr writing poop jokes as needed — which is “sometimes.”

Poo emojiWikimedia

That’s $40 an hour to literally make sh*t jokes.

The application requires you to send in ‘your best fifteen white cards and five best black cards’ to show off your crap-writing skills.

The black cards will need to contain a question or a statement with a missing word, and the white cards will need possible answers – all faeces related, and preferably interchangeable to ensure an excellent range of offensive and/or disgusting combinations.

Of course, the company stress that they only need poo jokes ‘sometimes’, so you don’t need to be pushing the stuff out all day long, but it could make an interesting side job.

Submissions for the unusual role are due by August 31, so start pooping, sorry, popping down your ideas as soon as they come to you.

You could write the potential jokes down while you’re on the toilet – it’s probably the best place for inspiration, as well as a good way to pass the time.

Cards Against Humanity also offer some tips for writing the best, aka most horrible, cards.

For the black cards, they advise:

The “blank” should not come after an adjective or article.
The “blank” generally works best after a preposition (for, with, of, to) or a verb (kill, f*ck).
The “blank” generally hits hardest toward the end of the sentence, like a punchline.

As for the white cards:

Sharp, punchy cards that show and don’t tell.

Cards that come alive in the black cards—remember, each white card is only half the joke.

Cards with a distinct voice, perspective, or syntax.

A good white card plays differently with different black cards.

Cards Against HumanityGetty

While of course anyone can apply for the job, the website does mention that they’re looking for ‘hot single dads’. It sounds like the poo-joke making job could also be an opportunity for some matchmaking.

But this is Cards Against Humanity, so I wouldn’t necessarily expect a pleasant match.

If this sounds like your ideal job honestly you’re probably a bit poo-obsessed. But each to their own, so flush out the jokes that don’t make the cut, and dump your best ideas on them.

Apply for the job here.

If you have a story you want to tell, send it to [email protected]