Church Of Satan Schools Christianity In One Savage Tweet

by : UNILAD on : 14 Oct 2017 21:25
The Church of Satan

Turns out the Church of Satan are savages on Twitter.

Here’s me thinking the Church of Satan was a bunch of sociopaths with dreadlocks and trilbies.


Their message is actually quite different. In the past, ‘Satanists’ have been known to take in Muslims in who were afraid to leave their homes following the Paris attacks.

The Minneapolis and San Jose branches of the national organisation posted to their website and Facebook pages offering to protect local Muslims who might have been experiencing backlash.


They said at the time:


If there is anyone in the Minneapolis area who is Muslim and afraid to leave their home out of fear for some kind of backlash, don’t hesitate to reach out to us.

We would be glad to escort you where you need to go without advertising our presence – just big dudes walking you where you need to be. We would also happily accompany you so you can get some groceries.

Not exactly the ritual-loving, world-hating image perpetrated by media and films.

As per the Church of Satan’s website:


Founded on April 30, 1966 c.e. by Anton Szandor LaVey, we are the first above-ground organization in history openly dedicated to the acceptance of Man’s true nature—that of a carnal beast, living in a cosmos that is indifferent to our existence.

To us, Satan is the symbol that best suits the nature of we who are carnal by birth—people who feel no battles raging between our thoughts and feelings, we who do not embrace the concept of a soul imprisoned in a body.

He represents pride, liberty, and individualism—qualities often defined as Evil by those who worship external deities, who feel there is a war between their minds and emotions.

So yeah, basically they’ve called out Christianity on Twitter and everybody’s lapping it up.

Innocent old ‘Ivy League economist’ Danny Blanchflower thought he was being the Good Samaritan when he claimed to his followers that the 50 pastors who supported shamed Roy Moore could only be part of a satanic cult and not Christianity.


The Church of Satan was having none of this, calling him out in spectacular fashion.

They wrote:

Child abuse is directly forbidden in the 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth. Christians however have been abusing children for centuries. They own this.


Satanic mic drop of horny proportions! Yikes, that didn’t pan out as I’d liked it to.

In a later tweet, the church said they ‘don’t worship anyone or sacrifice anything. Upside down crosses are not Satanic, they are Christian (St Peter). Some of us do like orgies though.’

In short: I’m joining the Church of Satan.

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