Doctor Who Lost Both Parents, Husband And Several Friends Has Grief Mansplained To Her

by : Emily Brown on : 02 May 2021 15:28
Doctor Who Lost Both Parents, Husband And Several Friends Has Grief Mansplained To Her@dr.melissa.mork/TikTok

A doctor who has lost a number of close friends and family has recalled the moment a man told her she ‘didn’t really understand grief’ before proceeding to mansplain it to her. 

Doctor Melissa Baartman is a Professor of Clinical and Forensic Psychology as well as an author, widow and mother who wrote her masters thesis on grief and bereavement.


The doctor has thousands of followers on TikTok, but she gained the attention of millions earlier this week after responding to another TikToker who asked users to share their stories of the ‘stupidest thing a man has ever mansplained’ to them.

Check out Melissa’s response below:


The psychologist began her story by discussing all the people she has lost throughout her life, starting with a good friend in high school who took their own life.

Over the years, Melissa has also lost her mother to a car crash and her father to a ‘broken heart’, as well as at least four good friends, her brother-in-law and her husband. She has also experienced miscarriages.

Melissa made clear that she knew what she was talking about when it came to loss, not only due to her personal experiences and the topic of her masters thesis, but also through her doctorate in clinal psychology. In spite of this, one man felt that the doctor wasn’t quite qualified to discuss the topic, telling her she ‘didn’t really understand grief’.


Addressing her TikTok viewers, the doctor recalled how the man proceeded to explain it to her based on his own experience with loss, which apparently consisted of the death of his dog when he was 12.

TikTokers responded to Melissa’s video to share their dismay at the man’s actions, with many questioning the ‘audacity’ of the man and others expressing their sorrow for Melissa’s numerous losses.

If you have experienced a bereavement and would like to speak with someone in confidence contact Cruse Bereavement Care via their national helpline on 0808 808 1677.

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Emily Brown

Emily Brown first began delivering important news stories aged just 13, when she launched her career with a paper round. She graduated with a BA Hons in English Language in the Media from Lancaster University, and went on to become a freelance writer and blogger. Emily contributed to The Sunday Times Travel Magazine and Student Problems before becoming a journalist at UNILAD, where she works on breaking news as well as longer form features.

Topics: Life, Death, grief, TikTok


Dr Melissa Mork/TikTok
  1. Dr Melissa Mork/TikTok