A selfish motorist who was named and shamed on social media for dodgy parking has defended his spatial awareness.
When images of a white Seat LEON parked across four spaces were posted in Spotted Spalding, many locals were quick to condemn the unthinking act.
But amid the damning comments, one man came forward in a brave public admission of responsibility (read: idiocy). Unfortunately, he came forward with the world’s lamest excuse.
Fabio Silva identified himself as the rogue parker, writing:
Nothing quite like parking and taking up four spaces. Start spending hundreds of pounds on your car and then you’ll understand where I’m coming from. Sorry for not wanting idiots ruining my pride and joy.
Similar SEAT Leons of that age fetch around £9,000 on Autotrader.
The post – a potent mix of patronising, self-aggrandising and cynical sentiment – was enough to excuse Fabio’s crime against humanity, in his opinion. Others disagreed.
One poster wrote: “And to think the person driving that car was the fastest swimmer! What a poor gene pool,” while another added: “Tell him to get better insurance. One that covers vandalism.”
While Fabio’s parking may have protected him from bad drivers, his anti-social media game might just put a price on his car’s head.
Call it £9,000.
A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.