Throughout the centuries, love – or at least the sensation of fancying someone a bit – has been expressed through a myriad of unusual – and sometimes downright odd – practices.
From giving your crush apples soaked in your own sweat (yes, really) to handing them a wooden spoon when you want to get frisky, history informs us there really is no weirdness limit when it comes to humans being guided by their downstairs brain.
However, one young man could well have just attempted the most flabbergastingly terrible attempt at human courtship of all time; expertly managing to convey a morbid disrespect for the dead with a woeful lack of self-awareness.
You wouldn’t think it needs to be said that you should always make sure to leave your dead grandad firmly outside of your efforts to slide into a person’s DMs. However, this Dating 101 tip doesn’t appear to have reached all ears.
23-year-old Rachel Brogan was left quite surprised when, one fine evening, she received a DM from a stranger enquiring, ‘Hey did you hear about my granddad x’.
Puzzled, the Scotland-based NHS clerical officer simply – and understandably – replied, ‘what?’. It’s at this point the messenger’s intentions became all too clear.
Appearing to feign a grief-addled mix up, the DM Romeo explained:
Sh*t sorry wrong person meant to txt a girl a went to school with but clicked on you by accident. Not thinking straight as my grandad passed away sorry x
Had he left it there, Rachel could well have believed his story. However, the would-be smooth guy made the grave error of believing her to have been born yesterday.
Devastation apparently forgotten, the messenger proceeded to purr:
You are lovely tho x [smiley face emoji] You single? x
Not having any of it, Rachel wisely chose not to reply and instead shared a screenshot of the ghoulish flirtation on Twitter, where it has been liked well over 30,000 times.
One person grimaced:
Hello me Grandads dead, fancy a shag to cheer me up?
I once had a guy tell me he had cancer as an opener for my dms never met him before, didn’t know who he was either.
Bizarrely, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened to poor Rachel, who has since admitted to having had ‘quite a few ones like that’.
Rachel – who usually prefers to meet people in real life or through dating apps – has said:
I think it was just a weird way to get my attention, […] I don’t think he meant to click someone else at all, ha ha ha.
Better luck next time pal…
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Jules studied English Literature with Creative Writing at Lancaster University before earning her masters in International Relations at Leiden University in The Netherlands (Hoi!). She then trained as a journalist through News Associates in Manchester. Jules has previously worked as a mental health blogger, copywriter and freelancer for various publications.