One of the more annoying aspects of the internet is the amount of scammers lurking and ready to pounce.
Of course, most web savvy people just ignore the dubious pleas for social security numbers and bank details.
However, what if you decided to strike up a conversation instead? Becoming a nuisance to the nuisance?
This is exactly the decision made by hilarious apprentice nursing assistant, Tom Sheerin…
Sliding into his DMs like an unwanted stranger’s hand in your back pocket, ‘Michael’ claimed to have been sent by ‘the CEO of Facebook’ himself to deliver some truly glad tidings.
Tom was apparently the lucky duck benefactor of a cool $1 million, plus his very own Jeep. Geez, thanks Zucks!
All Tom had to do was hand over $500 in delivery fees to this complete stranger who had approached him via Facebook Messenger. A sound business transaction if ever there was one.
Michael was even professional enough to send over a picture of a box full of money and an assurance letter from none other than Mark Zuckerberg.
This assurance letter is maybe one of my favourite ever scam letters containing totally no-suspish gems such as ‘all I want you to understand, is that this Facebook lottery is fully real and legitimate’ and ‘I want you to rest assured this is the right office’.
It was at this point, Tom began his trolling, innocently enquiring whether the money would be sent to him in a cardboard box.
Michael made the following reassuring reply, complete with a little cardboard box emoji:
Yes you winnings will be delivery to you by the FedEx delivery company ok.
It will be delivered to you at your doorstep.
After clarifying the delivery could be sent to his home or to the prostitutes’, Tom proceeded to give a bizarre address which didn’t seem to faze Michael one bit.
Indeed, Michael seemed to believe he had caught Tom hook, line and sinker; asking his age before pressing with increasing urgency for the delivery fees.
However, Michael started to get a bit shirty when he felt Tom was delaying paying up, warning him how he would ‘terminate’ his winnings if he didn’t comply.
After politely enquiring over his usual prize deliverer ‘Clarence’ and asking whether he could use his Nectar points as payment (he could not) Tom took things up a gear, asking whether he could pay the money entirely in fivers.
Michael did not like this one bit…
It was at this point Tom decided to bring his friend Biff into the equation, who should be familiar to all fans of eighties movies.
Michael didn’t seem to care much about Biff, and instead attempted to swear Tom to solemn secrecy, in a chilling, all-caps warning.
Tom swore he could keep a secret, however the new friendship quickly soured when Tom proudly announced he had told the local paper all about his big win.
At this point, Michael got a little potty mouthed; declaring the winnings ‘terminated.’
However, Michael’s ears quickly pricked up when Tom started talking about cold, hard cash.
Although he confessed to having spent all his money on wafer thin ham, he reckoned his ‘stabby’ friend ‘Phil Myass’ could help him out.
Michael also seemed to really appreciate a picture of a horse drawn by Tom’s son.
Tom told UNILAD:
I’ve had messages like this in the past and I always try to mess about with them but they usually realise pretty quick, this man must be working on commission because he really didn’t want to give up.
The response has been amazing, I only posted it as I thought a friend might appreciate it but before I knew it it was getting shared around the world, now seen it on websites from Russia, the Ukraine and the US, can’t believe how positive the response has been.
According to Tom, Michael didn’t clock on to the fact he was being trolled for a good two hours. Amazing…
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Jules studied English Literature with Creative Writing at Lancaster University before earning her masters in International Relations at Leiden University in The Netherlands (Hoi!). She then trained as a journalist through News Associates in Manchester. Jules has previously worked as a mental health blogger, copywriter and freelancer for various publications.