Man Blesses New BMW By Burning Incense, Car Catches Fire And Gets Burned To A Crisp

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Oh dear, BMW owners.

Somebody most people wouldn’t pee on if they were on fire. The villains of the car world. No-one wants them to become seriously hurt or injured, but seeing their lives in temporary disarray is quite amusing to every other car owner in the world.

Why? Don’t ask me. I zip around town on a segway, personally. But in the minds of petrol-heads across the globe, the purveyors of BMWs are basically sub-human scum and anything that knocks them down a peg is fully deserving.

So they’ll be delighted to hear news of a man who burned incense to ‘bless’ his new BMW only to set it it completely on fire.

Video of the catastrophe, captured in the Jiangsu city of Yangzhou, has since gone viral on Chinese social media. Within 20 minutes, the man’s 470,000 RMB (roughly $73,000) car had been reduced to a mere pathetic pile of iron crisp.

Footage taken before the fire shows offerings being placed around the car, a piece of red cloth put down across the hood. The Yangzhou fire department suspects the fire began after the man started burning incense on the cloth. No sh*t.

The car was so new it didn’t even have a number plate, according to Shangaiist.

So it all goes from worse to worse for BMW users. As if being voted Britain’s rudest drivers wasn’t a kick in the tickles enough.

Yep, more than half of motorists, 56 per cent to be exact, believe those who own a BMW M3 are terrible people.

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In second were Range Rover drivers, with 48 per cent of the vote, while owners of Audi TT’s were placed third with 43 per cent.

The much condemned and ridiculed Ford Transit van came in at a remarkable fifth with 36 per cent of pollers saying the white van man was the worst road user.

BMW owners have been previously called ‘Smarmy businessmen’ alongside ‘holier-than-thou Prius drivers’ and ‘reckless Subaru boy-racers.’

A One Poll study revealed, while judgemental motorists are quick to guess the personality traits of other drivers, just one in six think they fit the stereotype associated with their own car.

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James Buttrick, spokesman for Vantage Leasing who commissioned the study, said:

Whether accurate or not, the type of car we drive is seen to portray a great deal about our personality on the roads.

The next time you find yourself in need of a new car, it might be worth considering the stereotype associated with each brand before making your final decision.

Tip for future reference: don’t bless your car. It doesn’t need blessing. It needs driving, presumably from one location to the other to cut out a lot of time that would be spent walking or even running.

Furthermore, putting anything, anything, burning on your car bonnet is categorically a bad idea. I mean real bad. It’s so antithetical to your whip’s survival anyone who does it deserves to have their license revoked and put in prison.

Alright, maybe not put in prison but at least a night or two in the cells. I’m rambling. Guys, just get a segway and be done with it.

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