Meet The World’s Oldest Prisoner Living In Chains For 118 Years


We all do some weird shit when we’re smashed but arresting a tree is ‘branching’ out to new extremes (sorry).

Once upon a time in 1898, British army officer James Squid, who was twisted out of his mind on some magical juice in Pakistan, thought a walnut tree was trying to escape from the officers’ mess and arrested it.

The tree still stands there in chains today, 118 years later… like a colonialist traffic cone reminder of the night before.

A plaque on the tree reads: 


One evening a British officer, heavily drunk, thought that I was moving from my original location and ordered Mess Sergeant to arrest me.

Since then I am under arrest.

The mess secretary, Capt Nasir Farooq, said to The Telegraph:

They were sure this tree was running away to Peshawar, so they ordered the Sergeant to put it under arrest. The tree is still under arrest.

The tree, which is in the Khyber Rifles Officers Mess, has been recognised as an apt colonialism metaphor by many Twitter users:


Free the tree! Leaf it alone!