ICYMI, Donald Trump is President-elect and so the clean up act of America begins, starting with the Democrats taking a good hard look at themselves in the mirror.
The country’s most shrewd political minds have banded together – from behind the safety of their MacBook screens, because 2016 – to come up with a plan to save the Democratic Party.
One such plan is the brainchild of Michael Moore, the documentary-maker and truth-seeker behind Farenheit 9/11 and Bowling for Columbine; the man who initially penned a warning to the world that Trump would be the Republican nominee, and later gave five reasons why he would absolutely defeat Hillary Clinton in the Presidential race. The man who, yesterday, was proven right.
The night he won, the Empire State Bldg celebrated Dear Leader. You could see his image for miles. America was safe. pic.twitter.com/8oXkOOqgJb
— Michael Moore (@MMFlint) November 10, 2016
This guy knows his shit, and he’s got another 5-point plan for the Democrats, whose donkey has well and truly been trampled.
Titled the ‘Morning After To-Do List’, presumably named to make us readers feel dirty and ridden with the shame of our actions, the manifesto lays out the following plan.
Morning After To-Do List:
1. Take over the Democratic Party and return it to the people. They have failed us miserably.
2. Fire all pundits, predictors, pollsters and anyone else in the media who had a narrative they wouldn’t let go of and refused to listen to or acknowledge what was really going on. Those same bloviators will now tell us we must “heal the divide” and “come together.” They will pull more hooey like that out of their ass in the days to come. Turn them off.
3. Any Democratic member of Congress who didn’t wake up this morning ready to fight, resist and obstruct in the way Republicans did against President Obama every day for eight full years must step out of the way and let those of us who know the score lead the way in stopping the meanness and the madness that’s about to begin.
4. Everyone must stop saying they are “stunned” and “shocked.” What you mean to say is that you were in a bubble and weren’t paying attention to your fellow Americans and their despair. YEARS of being neglected by both parties, the anger and the need for revenge against the system only grew. Along came a TV star they liked whose plan was to destroy both parties and tell them all “You’re fired!” Trump’s victory is no surprise. He was never a joke. Treating him as one only strengthened him. He is both a creature and a creation of the media and the media will never own that.
5. You must say this sentence to everyone you meet today: “HILLARY CLINTON WON THE POPULAR VOTE!” The MAJORITY of our fellow Americans preferred Hillary Clinton over Donald Trump. Period. Fact. If you woke up this morning thinking you live in an effed-up country, you don’t. The majority of your fellow Americans wanted Hillary, not Trump. The only reason he’s president is because of an arcane, insane 18th-century idea called the Electoral College. Until we change that, we’ll continue to have presidents we didn’t elect and didn’t want. You live in a country where a majority of its citizens have said they believe there’s climate change, they believe women should be paid the same as men, they want a debt-free college education, they don’t want us invading countries, they want a raise in the minimum wage and they want a single-payer true universal health care system. None of that has changed. We live in a country where the majority agree with the “liberal” position. We just lack the liberal leadership to make that happen (see: #1 above). Let’s try to get this all done by noon today. — Michael Moore
Moore’s plan, which reads somewhat like an eulogy of America’s damaged electoral democracy as we know it, was posted on Facebook and has since gone viral.
In my honest opinion, Moore speaks sense.
If the 369,000 people (at last count) who liked this post took it upon themselves to act, maybe it could instigate change. But alas, I fear the political keyboard warriors will sit in shock and bemoan the world, rather than follow Moore’s call to arms.
Instead we will go out and buy tickets to see Michael Moore’s new film, ominously titled Where To Invade Next and watch in despair as the filmmaker cherry-picks international systems of democracy that work better than America’s current Electoral College.
On a side note directed at readers in Britain, Moore didn’t even bother to visit the UK because our politics have become so Presidential and Americanised…
If the Democrats have a nose for publicity, they’ll totally ignore the mid-20th century autocratic rhetoric in Moore’s five-point plan – no one mention Stalin – and get on board with this popular revolutionary manifesto.
A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.