In the year of our Lord 2016, there are some people in the dark corners of the Internet who think it’s completely acceptable to send unsolicited dick pics to girls.
Just because a girl gave you her phone number in a club, it doesn’t mean she signed up to receiving pictures of your five inch flesh flute at 2pm on a Sunday afternoon.
What if that girl is sat with her dear old nan showing her how to play Pokémon GO? One minute, a lovely 84-year-old woman is trying to catch a Drowzee, the next she accidentally taps on your message and has two hairy Pokéballs in her face.
You don’t want that, the girl from the club doesn’t want that, and the dear old grandmother certainly doesn’t want that. She just wants a fucking Hypno.
Anyway, there are some people who can’t avoid receiving an abundance of unwanted dick pics – popular models.
We caught up with Emily Sears, Laura Lux and Pia Meuhlenbeck – who have a combined Instagram following of over 5.6 million – to find out the creepiest and most bizarre messages they receive on a daily basis.
WARNING: The following slideshow will make you hate the human race. If you don’t already.
Laura and Emily went viral last year for going full savage and sending screenshots of seedy messages to girlfriends and family members of the creeps.
Nowadays, they just laugh them off.
Laura told us:
We deal with it by screenshotting it and sending it to each other to laugh at them.
You can’t really do anything to stop it so we just try to make a joke out of it, I guess.
Pia, however, blocks any weirdo who slides into her DMs. She hopes that by doing so it’ll hit home that girls really don’t want to see that shit.
Personally, I tend to just delete and block right away. Hopefully people are starting to realise that a rude photo is generally not the way to a lady’s heart!
Ignore, ignore, ignore! Although I do think what Emily does is hilarious!
So, if you’re partial to sending dick pics and still haven’t learnt your lesson from all of this, here’s how you know when it’s acceptable to send one:
When you’re bored When you’re drunk When she’s drunk When you’ve found the perfect angle for a dick pick When your mum’s out and you can finally take a picture in her full length mirror When you’ve shaved your bush and your manhood now looks two inches bigger than ever before When the lighting is on point
- When she actually requests them
I’m glad we’ve got that sorted.