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People Say National Horny Day Has Been Ruined For Them

by : Julia Banim on : 17 Apr 2020 18:28
People Say National Horny Day Has Been Ruined For ThemPeople Say National Horny Day Has Been Ruined For ThemPixabay/Pexels

There are certain days in the year which should remain sacred and indestructible. Perfect little bubbles of time within an otherwise chaotic struggle of a year.

I’m talking about Christmas Day, Pancake Day and that first sunny Saturday afternoon when you have absolutely nothing to do but unfold your deckchair, whip off your top and gently cook yourself.

One of these days is undoubtedly National Horny Day, a proud tradition which celebrates all things raunchy and randy. Of course, this year, it’s getting a little bit trickier to sound your horn, so to speak…

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With isolation and social distancing measures well underway, you’re unlikely to get a firm handshake these days, let alone an all-night, hammer-and-tongs roll in the hay.

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Unless you’re lucky enough to be self-isolating with a significant other, I’ll hazard a bet that you haven’t let your freak flag fly in a number of weeks. And then comes a day like this to rub salt into your already throbbing wound.

Depending on whose calendar you’re following, National Horny Day falls on either April 16 or April 17. But, I will adhere to the solemn scriptures of Twitter on this occasion, with April 17 being the official bonanza for all things boning and bonking.

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On this horniest of days, frustrated people from all walks of life have flocked to Twitter to express dismay at being kept locked in the giant chastity cages of their own apartments, steadily thumbing their copies of 50 Shades of Grey into dust.

One person lamented:

It’s national horny day and I’m stuck in quarantine alone I hate it here.

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Another moaned:

National horny day is trending like that hasn’t been every day since quarantine started.

A third person sighed:

Single people – remember that black mirror episode where they can do it in the video game?! we need that during social distancing Rolling on the floor laughing time to innovate tech people! Work on the things that really matter #nationalhornyday

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It would seem many people are looking to blow off a little steam at a time when one night stands and hook-ups are strictly off the table.

According to reports, sex toy and lingerie retail chain Ann Summers has seen a 27% increase in sales of sex toys compared to this time last year, while luxury sex toy brand Lelo has seen sales boom by 40%.

One things for sure. Once isolation measures come to an end, there’s going to be celebrations in the sheets as well as in the streets.

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Julia Banim

Jules studied English Literature with Creative Writing at Lancaster University before earning her masters in International Relations at Leiden University in The Netherlands (Hoi!). She then trained as a journalist through News Associates in Manchester. Jules has previously worked as a mental health blogger, copywriter and freelancer for various publications.

Topics: Life, Horny, Isolation, National Horny Day, Twitter