We live in a constantly connected world these days, which is great if you’ve lost your keys on a night out and need to call someone or you go away to uni but need to show your mate this new meme.
Having your phone as a perpetual companion can be comforting. It’s not so great, however, in certain emotionally-charged, drunken scenarios.
In those times when feelings are running hot and you are desperate to say something you’ll inevitably regret later, your mobile phone is a beacon of potential embarrassment.
So, as a warning to all mobile phone users, here’s a blooper reel of drunk texts and messages courtesy of some brave students willing to share their shame.
They just hope you don’t make the same mistake they did.
Take Ryan, 21, who swapped numbers with a young lady from his theology seminar for ‘educational’ purposes and to set up a study group.
Seeing the mobile phone number as an opportunity, Ryan drunkenly text the anonymous academic:
I know weare supposed to bea setting up a study group for theologyt but I was thinking we could do a liottle maths… U + me = heaven. Ryan xc
Fancying himself a Casanova, who apparently hasn’t enabled autocorrect, the young student of love pressed send. Needless to say, he wasn’t invited to the study group.
Budding unrequited love isn’t the only minefield that gets in the way of smooth studying.
Old romances die hard and moving away from home can be tough. Just ask 20-year-old Newcastle-born Tara, a business management student in the south of England.
She text her ex:
It’s not all just spats between young lovers though.
Callum, a 22-year-old PPE graduate can’t remember much of the night which started this particular text conversation, but we can only envy him the 20 chicken nuggets that ended it.
Inspired by gin, Callum went right ahead and sent this cute message:
How many times have you got in from a night out and quickly realised you were, under no circumstances, going to be fit and well for your 9am lecture?
A lot, I’ll bet.
Showing UNILAD an unfortunate exchange, Laura, 19, recalled how she proceeded to email her tutor at 4.57am (time-stamped, of course) to explain she wasn’t feeling up to attending in a few hours.
Perhaps legit – if it weren’t for the execution of the masterplan:
My favourite turytor, I dont think I’ll make our one on one tutorial in a few hours bc I won’t be feeling very well the, Thanks for understanding. Love Laura xo
In other awkward tutor/student relations, Charlie, 21, a student of History of Art, told UNILAD about a mortifying moment spurred on by the dreaded group chat.
Charlie was added to a Whatsapp group for students starting a new semester, run by a former student going for their doctorate. Charlie informed us said tutor was a ‘worldie’.
She was pretty quick to jump on the group chat to share her feelings with her fellow students after a boozy bonding session. Little did she know the group chat was in fact set up for said tutor.
We’ve all been there. Speaking from experience, our embarrassed students have recovered their dignity to some degree and gone on with their lives, refusing to liberally press ‘send’ anymore.
If university teaches you absolutely nothing else, let it be the mind-altering state of drunkenness and its social perils.
A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.