I’ve never been to Australia but I’m pretty certain I have family there.
I’ve seen pictures and had Skype calls, read books, seen maps, watched Ned Kelly and suffered the dis-privilege of seeing endless Facebook posts from backpackers who headed over there ‘to find themselves’ at daddy’s expense.
So although my feet have never touched the soil of the land down under, I’m bloody confident it exists.
However, as the Internet is rife with intellectual conspirators (AKA people with crazy, crazy theories), some just don’t think Australia is a thing. God help them.
This Facebook user, Shelley Floryd, who clearly has far, far too much time on her hands, posted this lengthy explanation as to why Australia is a myth on her profile.
Australia is not real. It’s a hoax, made for us to believe that Britain moved over their criminals to someplace. In…
In the post she wrote:
Australia is not real. It’s a hoax, made for us to believe that Britain moved over their criminals to someplace. In reality, all these criminals were loaded off the ships into the waters, drowning before they could see land ever again. It’s a coverup for one of the greatest mass murders in history, made by one of the most prominent empires.
Australia does not exist. All things you call “proof” are actually well fabricated lies and documents made by the leading governments of the world. Your Australian friends? They’re all actors and computer generated personas, part of the plot to trick the world.
If you think you’ve ever been to Australia, you’re terribly wrong. The plane pilots are all in on this, and have in all actuality only flown you to islands close nearby – or in some cases, parts of South America, where they have cleared space and hired actors to act out as real Australians.
Australia is one of the biggest hoaxes ever created, and you have all been tricked. Join the movement today, and make it known that they have been deceived. Make it known, that this has all just been a cover-up. The things these “Australian” says to be doing, all these swear words and actions based on alcoholism, MDMA and bad decisions, are all ways to distract you from the ugly truth that is one of the greatest genocides in history. 162,000 people was said to have been transported to this imaginary land during a mere 80 years, and they are all long dead by now. They never reached that promised land.
She concluded the post, saying:
Tell the truth. Stand up for what is right. Make sure to spread the world – Australia is not real. It’s a codeword for the cold blooded murder of more than a hundred thousand people, and it is not okay. We will not, accept this.
Stand up for the ones who died. Let it be known, that Australia does not exist.
Shelley later claimed it was an elaborate joke – but who knows? Maybe the mastermind behind this Australia myth is silencing her for the big expose.
But the most worrying thing is that 22,000 people have shared the theory. Most, probably, because it’s utterly bizarre but there must be a handful who actually ate the conspiracy up as truth.
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. That is all I have to say.
Joseph Loftus is a Gold Standard NCTJ journalist with four years experience working for international and regional press.
As well as working for UNILAD and LADbible, Joseph has worked as Liverpool Correspondent for Unsigned & Independent Magazine, as well as stints with the Liverpool Echo and Warrington Guardian.