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UK Company Giving Employees Days Off To Masturbate

by : UNILAD on : 13 Nov 2018 22:35
Jay!Jay!E4

A British firm is offering employees days off to masturbate.

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Masturbate, y’know… bashing the bishop, painting the pickle, saucing the taco.

LELO UK – did you have to double check that wasn’t LEGO? Cause I did – is offering out ‘self-love days’ to it’s workers.

Now, fair enough, it is a ‘sex and intimacy’ brand but a step in the right direction all the same. Woke, even?

On these special days, employees are encouraged to take the day to ‘fulfil’ themselves.

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As reported by the Mirror, the firm believe this will improve happiness, reduce stress and boost productivity.

LELO carried out a survey to justify their day of jerking. Out of 2,000 Brits, 78% said orgasms make them happier. God speed to the poor souls that don’t get satisfaction from them.

66% said they feel more productive after erm… arriving (gotta use synonyms otherwise I’m doing a lazy job here guys).

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Rachael Nsofor, a spokesperson for LELO UK, said:

Being sexually fulfilled and satisfied is something that we at LELO UK feel is a basic human right and it’s completely free!

And as a result of this research, we’re delighted to introduce a new initiative where we are offering our UK employees the opportunity to take up to four days a year as a “self love day”.

We hope our UK staff use them to do whatever they want to explore their happiness and what makes them tick with the hope that they’ll come to work the next day with a spring in their step and be as productive as possible.

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For what it’s worth, I just so happen to have this Thursday, Friday and indeed the entire weekend, off.

My colleague Tim suggested I spend ‘a sturdy shift’ in a private browser to ‘get those endorphins going’. I shall be doing no such thing. It’s gonna be a good few days of walking, extracurricular creative writing and passioned political debate with friends.

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Topics: Life

Credits

Mirror
  1. Mirror

    British firm offers employees days off to MASTURBATE - and says it boosts productivity