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Women Call Out The Messed Up Things Society Has Deemed ‘Normal’

by : Julia Banim on : 02 Apr 2021 16:07
Women Call Out The Messed Up Things Society Has Deemed 'Normal'Shutterstock

Women have been calling out all the messed up things society deems to be ‘normal’ in an eye-opening Reddit thread.

Taking to the Reddit forum r/AskWomen, Reddit user u/saintssacrafice asked women to tell them ‘something that women experience and is seen as ‘normal’ but is actually very wrong/shouldn’t be as accepted as it is?’

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The thread opened up a lot of important topics, from widespread misunderstanding about period pain to sexual harassment, and showed the extent to which such issues are simply accepted and brushed over by society.

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One woman wrote:

Downplaying how horrible periods can be. I’ve seen so many men act like women are being babies on their period and it’s just enraging.

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This was a sentiment many women agreed with, with another describing the pain she suffers at that time of the month as akin to ‘knives in her intestines’.

Some opened up about conditions such as endometriosis and PCOS. Others spoke of their frustration at having their emotions downplayed and attributed to their menstrual cycles rather than reactions to actual difficult situations.

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Another woman opened up about the issue of ‘rampant’ sexual abuse and harassment, which so often goes left unchecked.

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She wrote:

Most women I know started being harassed by men when they were elementary school students, and that is seen as normal.

Others could relate to this comment all too well, with one woman remarking that, up until the rise of the #MeToo movement, she believed ‘ass grabbing was something you just put up with’.

Another recalled how, at her middle school, ‘slap ass Wednesday’ was a thing, and teachers did nothing to try and put a stop to this behaviour or ‘even have a conversation about it’.

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Elsewhere in the thread, another commenter opened up about feeling ‘expected’ to have sex while having their pleasure regarded as ‘secondary’:

I experienced this a lot when I was younger and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Like, I thought if I was kissing a guy ‘well, now I’m expected to have sex with him because he’s turned on. I guess I have to’.

And also thinking that during sex, the end goal was really mostly about him. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized how flawed it was for me to think that way and for men to have reinforced that thinking via their actions.

This experience struck a note with a lot of people, with one woman writing:

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It really saddens me how many women genuinely believe that their sexual pleasure isn’t as important as their male partner’s. When was the last time you ever heard a man say ‘oh, I never cum during sex, but it’s okay because the intimacy and closeness is more important for me’?

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Childbirth and female reproductive problems also emerged as a big issue, with many women agreeing that the way these medical issues are treated can often be ‘patronizing’.

One woman recalled:

A close friend wants to get sterilized because she already has two kids, gets awful depression during pregnancy, and post partum depression that makes her suicidal.

She’s happy with her family and out of genuine concern for her daughters, wants to be sterilized so she can be the best mum possible to them. Basically no long-acting contraceptive methods are suitable for her. IUDs either cause persistent bleeding or keep dropping out, implants cause awful bleeding for months etc etc.

But my partner called up a vasectomy clinic, booked an appointment on the phone, and it was done in under a week. No questions asked, no ‘what if you change your mind’. My friend’s life is genuinely at risk if she gets pregnant again, and it would leave two kids without a mother, but years of trying can’t get her what a man can have for asking once.

Another said:

Along those lines, incontinence issues after childbirth. No, it’s not acceptable to pee when you sneeze. Pelvic floor PT can fix that if your insurance will cover it (it’s crazy expensive) and your Dr. will write you a script to go.

Other topics covered the unequal distribution of housework and childcare load, as well as being spoken over during conversations and being told to ‘smile’.

If you have a story you want to tell, send it to UNILAD via [email protected]

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Julia Banim

Jules studied English Literature with Creative Writing at Lancaster University before earning her masters in International Relations at Leiden University in The Netherlands (Hoi!). She then trained as a journalist through News Associates in Manchester. Jules has previously worked as a mental health blogger, copywriter and freelancer for various publications.

Topics: Viral, #metoo, harassment, Reddit, Women

Credits

u/saintssacrafice/Reddit
  1. u/saintssacrafice/Reddit

    women, what is something that women experience and is seen as “normal” but is actually very wrong/shouldn’t be as accepted as it is?