Having worked at UNILAD for some time, I honestly believed I had seen all there was to see in terms of strange and extremely niche YouTube vids.
However, it appears I have been blissfully unaware of the world of, erm, spit analysis; a topic which a group of YouTubers have explored in great detail.
Reader, I have just watched a (nearly) 20 minute vid of a group of YouTubers analysing a saliva sample from ‘Gamer Girl Bath Water’ Belle Delphine with a tone of complete solemnity. It’s been an education.
Turns out, there’s way more to spit than meets the eye. Having been sent a jar of Belle Delphine’s spit, YouTubers from the H3 Podcast delved right in there with lab technician precision.
First up, there was an investigation into the apparently alcoholic scent of Belle’s jarred saliva, a pondering thought chain which has perhaps forever ruined the idea of a nice glass of wine for me.
The main YouTuber, Ethan, kicked off the discussion by considering the possibility the spit had fermented:
She sent us a care package and a video, you guys might recall, of her drooling and spitting and licking a jar of spit that she’d sent to us.
We noticed when we’d opened it that it smelt strangely of alcohol. Very, very strongly of alcohol. We wondered if it had fermented, but that didn’t really make sense because you need sugar in the fermenting process.
There’s a lot of things that have to take place for alcohol to be fermented. Alcohol is a product of bacteria eating sugar of some type, that’s why you get alcohol from grapes, from potatoes, grain.
Bacteria feeds on the sugar, and the byproduct is alcohol.
An email was then read out from a fan who referenced an ancient alcohol-making method involving a person chewing and spitting out corn. I sincerely hope this doesn’t inspire any budding artisan distillers to follow suit.
The talk then turned to the quantity and consistency of the fluid, which reportedly contained elements which appeared ‘too watery’ to be spit.
Showing a video of Belle gobbing into the jar, a curious Ethan remarked:
I mean, that’s real spit. That’s definitely spit. But then, all of a sudden there’s like a tonne of it in the glass.
If you look at the glass, there’s a cut and then the volume increases a lot.
The YouTubers proceeded to consider the possibility Belle could have already… dun dun dun… had some liquid in her mouth to increase the volume.
To find out more about the contents of Belle Delphine’s spit, watch the full vid for yourself here.
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Jules studied English Literature with Creative Writing at Lancaster University before earning her masters in International Relations at Leiden University in The Netherlands (Hoi!). She then trained as a journalist through News Associates in Manchester. Jules has previously worked as a mental health blogger, copywriter and freelancer for various publications.